When Ian was born, he was immediately taken to Lutheran in Fort Wayne. I had to stay in Goshen, far away from him. Keep that in mind. :)
I remember chomping at the bit to be released from Goshen to get to him. Finally, the day came. The car ride was eternally long. We parked our car, and I was nearly running, despite having a c-section just three days earlier, to get to the NICU floor. We found an empty elevator that, I swear, took 10 minutes to get to where Ian was.
Could the process have taken longer?
As soon as we rang the doorbell to be allowed in to the NICU, we had to stop at the desk and check in. I was about to die waiting. I had only gotten to see Ian's face in pictures. I hadn't held him; I'd only been able to touch his arm. I was practically shaking while waiting...again.
The secretary informed us we had to scrub in (kind of). I remember thinking, Seriously? There's yet another thing that's keeping me from seeing him? I did it anyway.
I rounded the corner into a hot, dark, small room. Sitting on a stool, holding a dark-haired, brown-eyed baby was a nurse, feeding him the milk I'd sent from my hospital room in Goshen just the day before. Ian's eyes looked at me; I immediately said, "Hi, baby!" and then melted into a puddle of tears.
Could the process have taken longer?
As soon as we rang the doorbell to be allowed in to the NICU, we had to stop at the desk and check in. I was about to die waiting. I had only gotten to see Ian's face in pictures. I hadn't held him; I'd only been able to touch his arm. I was practically shaking while waiting...again.
The secretary informed us we had to scrub in (kind of). I remember thinking, Seriously? There's yet another thing that's keeping me from seeing him? I did it anyway.
I rounded the corner into a hot, dark, small room. Sitting on a stool, holding a dark-haired, brown-eyed baby was a nurse, feeding him the milk I'd sent from my hospital room in Goshen just the day before. Ian's eyes looked at me; I immediately said, "Hi, baby!" and then melted into a puddle of tears.
Your post brought tears to my eyes. Mothers are the strongest beings that exist. :)
ReplyDeleteYour desperate anxiousness was captured in this descriptive writing. My granddaughter came home last October following 8 weeks in NICU. What an experience.
ReplyDeleteWow! Your writing captured me write away!
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine having to wait like that - agony, pure agony! I did love how you sprinkled the sarcasm through. How incredulous you were that they could even consider keeping you away from him for one more second. I got it!
ReplyDelete